We’ve barely taken off our woolly hats and I’m already seeing articles, posts and adverts instructing me ‘How To Get A Bikini Body’.
It’s both insulting and ridiculous in equal measure. Surely I’m not the only one to think so? One article advocated trying the ‘liquid-only diet’ for three days a week, one told me to remove carbs, to eat only cabbage soup or to do ten million squats a day. As well as the obvious limitations, not to mention health side-effects of being so ludicrous, does any woman really have the stomach for being fed this continual diet of nonsense?
Of course you should take a gym class, take some dietary advice (from a doctor not a magazine) take a walk, run or swim; just don’t let it take over your life in the pursuit of something largely unattainable and pretty pointless in the grand scheme of life. Surely it’s about appreciating what you have and living life to the full, being less superficial and seeing people for how they fill their life, not a bikini.
My friend and I are guilty of periodically digging out photos of ourselves from the past ten years. We look at the photos and say things like “Wow, look how toned we were”; “Not one wrinkle”; “We looked so pretty back then”; “I wish I looked like that now”…
Yes, of course we looked much better when we were younger – that goes without saying. But at the time those photos were taken we certainly didn’t think we looked great; we were filled with the same insecurities that we have now. We didn’t appreciate it, we didn’t enjoy it – we had no clue until we had a worse frame of reference to compare it to – long after it had gone.
If the one certainty is that we are all ageing every day, it stands to reason that you will never be more beautiful than you are right now. This Very Day! You won’t get it back so don’t waste it. Five years from now we’ll all be looking back at pictures of ourselves in 2014 and thinking how young/pretty/slim we were.
Everyone is selling you a dream of becoming a size eight in four-weeks flat; selling you supplements to banish cellulite that you didn’t know you had until they you told you a cream was available; selling you wrinkle lotions for lines that have yet to appear; selling you diet chocolate bars instead of telling you to try fresh fruit for half the price. It’s relentless, we have become products. Our insecurities are a lucrative, harvestable commodity.
The easiest way to look more beautiful? Smile more, laugh more, be open to new things, volunteer, take up a hobby, socialise more, learn a new skill, enjoy something in every single day.
Or, alternatively, smother yourself in wrinkle cream, start liquidising cabbage, stay out of natural light and assume a perpetual squat position…I know what I’d rather do.
Let’s be honest, regardless of all the fad diets, pills and potions, we will all – without exception – get wrinkles, sags, cellulite, stretch marks and padded tummies over time. There isn’t a product or diet in the world that can save you.
So, I’ll tell you how you can get a beautiful bikini body in under five minutes:
➊ PUT A BIKINI ON YOUR BODY
Am I wrong?